Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
