I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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