I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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