also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
