The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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