Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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