I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
BRING THE BAGELS
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
