white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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