My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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