when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
