i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
