Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
