I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
