i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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