Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
