if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
