I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
