I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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