dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize