no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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