3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
