Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Someone came in the potted fern
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
