Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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