So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
