Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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