If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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