Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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