Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
