is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
