You can't special order awesome
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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