If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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