Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
