She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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