i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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