weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
