planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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