Pappa wants mamma naked
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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