We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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