he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize