new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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