I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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