Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
