I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
