I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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