he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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