The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
