don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
