If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
