ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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