i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
