sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
