my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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