In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
