So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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