I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
