just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
