Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
