Define "chronic" masturbator.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
