no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
