I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm both gender and math confused
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize